Head Lie, Head Truth
Zelf tossed the helmet and started using it to play kickball. It hurt, so he soon stopped.
Up ahead was what looked like a bunch of rocks. And a pike. And on top of the pike was a head. Zelf skipped closer and froze.
Robin’s head was impaled on the pike. His eyes were closed, and his face was a ghastly sheen of white.
Zelf’s eyes widened and his heart raced as panic shot through him. Robin… Robin?!? He stared at the head while his muscles refused to move, refused to do anything.
The head opened one eye, then the other. ‘Oh, hey Zelf.’
Zelf stared.
Robin’s head yawned. ‘Thought you’d come here at one time or other.’
Zelf stared.
Robin frowned slightly at him, irritated by his silence. ‘Well?’
‘You… your head?’
Robin nodded, obviously now understanding why Zelf looked so shocked (he didn’t really, but you get my metaphorical sort of sense). ‘Right. Well you see, I’m not really Robin. I’m just a copy of his head. We were set here to “guide” those on their way.’
‘We?’
Robin rolled his eyes to the right.
‘Hey,’ a very familiar voice greeted Zelf. He turned and looked into his own bright green eyes (and much-more-handsome-than-Robin's features).
‘’Sup?’ said Zelf’s head (not his real head, you see. Just the one on a pike.).
‘I’m internally freaking out right now,’ Zelf said cordially. ‘You?’
If heads could shrug, this one just did. ‘Nothin’ much.’
‘So… what are you two doing here anyway?’
‘Guiding people,’ Robin said sweetly, interrupting whatever Zelf’s head was going to say.
‘Yeah right,’ Zelf’s head muttered to himself. ‘A lot of guiding you’re doing.’ He looked up with a smile, knowing that the real Zelf hadn’t heard him.
‘So, let me explain.’ Robin cleared his throat, which was quite frightening considering he only had half of it. ‘You see, from here on you can only go…’
‘Right,’ said Zelf’s head.
‘Or left,’ said Robin’s.
Zelf started to see where this was going. ‘Wait, which left?’
‘Um…’
Zelf jerked his arm to his left. ‘That left!’
‘Sure,’ said Zelf’s head.
‘One of us,’ Robin began.
‘Please no.’
‘Tells the truth. While the other…’
‘Why me?’ Zelf pleaded.
‘… lies.’
Zelf nodded. ‘Excuse me a moment.’ He took out his shield and banged his head on it a couple of times. ‘Thank you, I’m good now.’
Robin yawned. ‘Sorry, I’m tired.’
Zelf nodded thoughtfully. ‘What if I threaten one of you with an excruciatingly painful death?”
‘We’re already dead,’ Robin’s head pointed out. ‘Sorta.’
So he was as annoying as a dead head as was in real life. Zelf turned to his head. ‘I pity you.’
‘Me too.’
Zelf thought for a moment. ‘What colour is my shirt?’ he said.
‘Wait, I wasn’t done.’ Robin scowled. ‘You can only ask one question to either of us. Choose wisely, traveler, for your do—‘
‘That’s bull,’ interrupted Zelf’s head. ‘Don’t listen to him.’
Zelf nodded. ‘I have practiced that art for twenty-five years of my life, thank you.’
Robin’s head frowned again. ‘Hey! And Zelf, don’t swear.’
‘Doesn’t count!’
Zelf nodded. ‘I go with you,’ he said, pointing to his head (the one on the pike. Just checking.)
‘Wait!’ Robin protested. ‘You haven’t even asked a question yet!’
‘What colour is my shirt?’ Zelf repeated his former question.
Robin smiled at him sweetly. ‘I’m sorry Zelf, but in this form I’m blind. You see, the nerves in my head—'
Zelf grabbed the pike and threw it on the ground. As he stalked to his right, he faintly heard Robin shout, ‘Wait! I meant colour-blind! I did, I did!’
‘Wise decision, traveler,’ Zelf’s head nodded approvingly.
And so he continued with his travels.
Up ahead was what looked like a bunch of rocks. And a pike. And on top of the pike was a head. Zelf skipped closer and froze.
Robin’s head was impaled on the pike. His eyes were closed, and his face was a ghastly sheen of white.
Zelf’s eyes widened and his heart raced as panic shot through him. Robin… Robin?!? He stared at the head while his muscles refused to move, refused to do anything.
The head opened one eye, then the other. ‘Oh, hey Zelf.’
Zelf stared.
Robin’s head yawned. ‘Thought you’d come here at one time or other.’
Zelf stared.
Robin frowned slightly at him, irritated by his silence. ‘Well?’
‘You… your head?’
Robin nodded, obviously now understanding why Zelf looked so shocked (he didn’t really, but you get my metaphorical sort of sense). ‘Right. Well you see, I’m not really Robin. I’m just a copy of his head. We were set here to “guide” those on their way.’
‘We?’
Robin rolled his eyes to the right.
‘Hey,’ a very familiar voice greeted Zelf. He turned and looked into his own bright green eyes (and much-more-handsome-than-Robin's features).
‘’Sup?’ said Zelf’s head (not his real head, you see. Just the one on a pike.).
‘I’m internally freaking out right now,’ Zelf said cordially. ‘You?’
If heads could shrug, this one just did. ‘Nothin’ much.’
‘So… what are you two doing here anyway?’
‘Guiding people,’ Robin said sweetly, interrupting whatever Zelf’s head was going to say.
‘Yeah right,’ Zelf’s head muttered to himself. ‘A lot of guiding you’re doing.’ He looked up with a smile, knowing that the real Zelf hadn’t heard him.
‘So, let me explain.’ Robin cleared his throat, which was quite frightening considering he only had half of it. ‘You see, from here on you can only go…’
‘Right,’ said Zelf’s head.
‘Or left,’ said Robin’s.
Zelf started to see where this was going. ‘Wait, which left?’
‘Um…’
Zelf jerked his arm to his left. ‘That left!’
‘Sure,’ said Zelf’s head.
‘One of us,’ Robin began.
‘Please no.’
‘Tells the truth. While the other…’
‘Why me?’ Zelf pleaded.
‘… lies.’
Zelf nodded. ‘Excuse me a moment.’ He took out his shield and banged his head on it a couple of times. ‘Thank you, I’m good now.’
Robin yawned. ‘Sorry, I’m tired.’
Zelf nodded thoughtfully. ‘What if I threaten one of you with an excruciatingly painful death?”
‘We’re already dead,’ Robin’s head pointed out. ‘Sorta.’
So he was as annoying as a dead head as was in real life. Zelf turned to his head. ‘I pity you.’
‘Me too.’
Zelf thought for a moment. ‘What colour is my shirt?’ he said.
‘Wait, I wasn’t done.’ Robin scowled. ‘You can only ask one question to either of us. Choose wisely, traveler, for your do—‘
‘That’s bull,’ interrupted Zelf’s head. ‘Don’t listen to him.’
Zelf nodded. ‘I have practiced that art for twenty-five years of my life, thank you.’
Robin’s head frowned again. ‘Hey! And Zelf, don’t swear.’
‘Doesn’t count!’
Zelf nodded. ‘I go with you,’ he said, pointing to his head (the one on the pike. Just checking.)
‘Wait!’ Robin protested. ‘You haven’t even asked a question yet!’
‘What colour is my shirt?’ Zelf repeated his former question.
Robin smiled at him sweetly. ‘I’m sorry Zelf, but in this form I’m blind. You see, the nerves in my head—'
Zelf grabbed the pike and threw it on the ground. As he stalked to his right, he faintly heard Robin shout, ‘Wait! I meant colour-blind! I did, I did!’
‘Wise decision, traveler,’ Zelf’s head nodded approvingly.
And so he continued with his travels.