June, 1996
Zelf here again. I think I'm around thirteen when this happens. Yes. . . the year before. . .
I gave the spoon another jerk. The stupid thing just wouldn't bend.
A lot of people knew the "bend a spoon with your thumb" trick. I could do that. Correction: I could do that if it was made out of metal. Not wood. And definitely not stone.
I gave an exasperated sigh and threw the spoon against the floor. My sister looked up from her little baby book, startled.
I heard my father chuckle from wherever he was. 'You can't do it, can you?' he said in amusement.
I scowled in the general direction of his voice before trying to bend the stupid spoon again. I know what you're thinking. Bending a stone spoon? Impossible. Why would they make stone spoons in the first place?
Actually, my dad had made this spoon for the sole purpose of annoying me. The thing was, he could bend it and Nabe could bend it, and I couldn't. And Nabe made fun of me, like he always did. And does.
So that's why I threw it to the ground in frustration, thus probably scarring my sister with terror for life. I never threw anything around her. She was too delicate and I didn't want to scare her. Too late for that now. My little three-year-old sister had just witnessed her first act of violence. From me. Go figure.
'No, I can't do it. Can I go now?'
'Zelf, Nabe said you couldn't go to your lesson unless you bend that spoon.'
'I'm thirteen1'
'We used to play games like that all the time when we were thirteen.'
'You're a Miner!'
'Nabe's not.'
I shot a dark look in his direction and kicked the sofa. My sister was really getting worried now. She started hobbling towards me. Everyone else called it walking, but I called it hobbling, since she looked like a penguin. It used to be waddling, actually.
'Zelf?' she looked up at me. 'You okay?'
I shrugged and nodded. Then I leaned down and saw that I had probably really scared her. So I put her in my lap, took her baby book and started reading to her about baking muffins.
'Zelf!' I heard my mother call. Mommy. I still called her that, I don't know why. What was I supposed to call her? Mother sounded weird. But I never called her Mommy to her face anymore; just in my head.
'Yeah Mom?'
'Stop dwaddling and bend that spoon! You know how Nabe is like about these things.'
I sighed. She was right. But I liked reading to my sister better.
We were at five muffins when Dad sort of stormed into the room and gently took the book out of my hands. Then gave it to Angie, picked her up, and set her on the sofa. Doing this, he took the spoon in one hand, my shirt in the other, and dragged me outside.
'You bend that spoon right now or you go to Nabe's cave and do it.'
I started grumbling. 'Sheesh. It's just a spoon, Dad.'
He scowled at me.
I sighed. I was used to that look. Nabe's my trainer. He does pointless things like throw pine cones (gradually leading to rocks) at me and beat me up every year at precisely 1:30 on May 31. He says it's for my well-being.
I've got to explain Nabe a bit. He's a mix, like me. He's also the best fighter in all of Endora and possibly of the whole Earth. I don't know about Air, Fire, Water or your world, but definetly in our Earth.
He's really tough. He insults me all the time. He calls me a wimp, and tells me that I'm scrawny. He says that I'm a sorry excuse for a man. He swears, and taught me some of his choice words. He wanders around shirtless. I sort of picked that up from him too. Mommy says it's not proper, but Nabe says that it enables smoother movement.
I love him as if he were my dad. He's awesome.
Dad introduced him to me when I was six. I was hiding behind him. Nabe scared the crap out of me. He's very intimidating.
But he was very nice to me, if a little harsh, if that makes any sense. He tried not to swear too much when I was younger, but sort of let it out when I turned eleven. My dad's goal and his goal: to make me a five star, first class fighter, the best in Endora. And Earth. In summary, better that Nabe himself.
Now comes the topic of May 31. It started when I was ten. Nabe said that he wanted to test me. Basically, every year, he takes out his full skill on me. I usually pass out in under three seconds.
Of course, this year, I counted to five. Yay!
I think he uses May 31 as an excuse to take out all his anger on me and all the things I've done wrong. Oh well. Wouldn't make much of a difference anyway.
Nabe lives in a cave around a mile and a half away. At first I used to go with my dad, but now I hike there by myself. I have animal friends there. Foxes, rabbits, and deer, for now.
I'm comfortable around Nabe. He's one of my best friends. Of course he scares me, but still.
So, back to the spoon.
'I'll go.'
My dad stopped his lecture. 'What?'
'I'll go,' I said a little louder.
He blinked. 'Um. . . okay. Nabe's going to be expecting that spoon to be bent though, do you understand?'
'Yeah.'
He nodded. 'Alright then. Run along.'
I smiled and ran along, ditching my sweater and throwing it back at my dad along the way. I heard him yell something at me. I rolled my eyes. I had a shirt underneath. Sleeveless, but a shirt nevertheless.
Someone grabbed my arm. I stopped and looked curiously at the grabber, who was my dad.
'Dad?'
'Shh,' he said. 'Someone's coming.'
I shrugged. 'So?'
He shook his head at me and thrust the sweater back into my arms. 'Put this on, quick!' he said urgently.
I looked at him strangely. Normally I would have disobeyed, but this time, there was something in his voice that made me listen.
I heard hoof beats. I straightened up.
I saw a carriage come into view. A royal carriage. I stiffened. My last encounter with royals hadn't gone that well.
The carriage came up and in it. . . Lo and behold: the royal family.
The princeling was blonde, with wide dark brown eyes. They focused on me slowly.
'Grear,' the King began. He looked out of breath, even though he was riding in a carriage.
'Look,' he said. 'I'll just get straight to the point. My wife and I have to go for the day. We want a playmate for Robin. I don't trust all the nannies. We heard that you had a daughter who was around his age. Please. . .' he stopped to take a breath. 'Can you take care of Robin for the day?'
We stared at him. I don't think either of us had heard at King speak so quickly and informally. Well, that just goes to prove that there's a first time for everything.
My dad looked at me. I shrugged. He had to go to the mines. Mommy would have her hands full with Angie. I had to go to training. Actually, I wouldn't mind missing. . .
'Sure, Your Highness!' I said with a smile and a bow. My dad looked at me incredulously. 'You'll just have to inform Nabe that I won't be coming today, Dad.'
He shook his head as he saw my awfully well thought-out scheme. I grinned hugely.
To my surprise, it was the prince who grinned back. He jumped out of the carriage and ran to me.
'Hi,' he said to me. He started hugging my leg.
I guess we were all surprised. My father blinked. 'Well. . . we kind of have a tight schedule today. . . but. . .'
'I'm sorry, Grear,' the Queen said, looking at her son. 'Robin will never leave until he gets to stay with Zelf for at least an hour now.'
Robin looked up at my dad and stopped grinning. He hid behind my legs.
Dad looked from me to the prince to the King to the Queen.
He finally gave in, after a lot of thought.
'Alright,' he said, a bit hesitantly. 'I'll talk to Nabe. He won't be happy about this,' he warned me.
I shrugged, trying to look helpless. 'What can I do?'
He frowned at me. Perhaps my helpless act could be ignored due to the fact that I still was grinning widely. I didn't have to bend the stupid piece of rock. I wouldn't get a black eye today or be constantly pelted by pine cones.
And so my day-care routine began.
I went home with Robin holding my hand tightly. I think he was scared of Dad. Dad left us at our house, however. He had to go to Nabe to tell him I wouldn't be coming, and then to the mines.
Angie rushed to me as soon as I stepped in the door.
'Zelf's back!' she called to Mommy. Angie is the only little kid, and I repeat: The One and Only little kid to pronounce my name properly. 'Zef' is what I'm usually called by the kids I tutor. I tutor some kids, sort of teaching them how to fight. But that's another story.
Angie pushed a very confused Robin aside and hugged my legs. Mommy looked in, confused as well. I grinned. 'King wanted me to babysit,' I explained.
To my surprise, Mommy only rolled her eyes and smiled. 'I knew you'd somehow find a way to get out of it,' she accused. I smiled back.
Robin was still hiding behind me, now scared of Angie.
'How old is he?' she asked me.
I frowned. Did she not remember? 'Three,' I said.
'The same age as Angie. They'll play together,' she said contentedly. Then she leaned down to Robin's level.
'What's your name, Sweetie?' she asked him.
He pulled my leg. Literally. 'Wobin,' he said in a small voice. Wow. Kid couldn't even pronounce his own name properly.
'We're glad to have you here, Robin,' Mommy said. 'This is Angie,' she pointed at Angie. 'And this is Zelf.' She pointed at me.
He nodded and squeezed my hand. 'Zef.'
Damn.
Mommy almost laughed at my barely concealed annoyance. Beuh.
Angie was eager to get to know her friend. She tugged him out from behind me and showed him her book. She wanted me to settle down and read for them.
By the time Dad came home, Robin and Angie were best friends. Robin was shy at first, but once you got to know him, he was a really sweet kid. Of course, he was only four. I was 9yrs 11mths and 18 days older than him. Round that up to 10 years. They could still easily scheme against me and become all lovey-dovey when they got older. Eew.
Turns out I had to babysit Robin for the rest of my life, then. Or at least until October of the next year. But that's another story, and a rather dark one at that. That was the day my whole life turned upside-down, inside-out, and trampled under a herd of stampeding camels.
I gave the spoon another jerk. The stupid thing just wouldn't bend.
A lot of people knew the "bend a spoon with your thumb" trick. I could do that. Correction: I could do that if it was made out of metal. Not wood. And definitely not stone.
I gave an exasperated sigh and threw the spoon against the floor. My sister looked up from her little baby book, startled.
I heard my father chuckle from wherever he was. 'You can't do it, can you?' he said in amusement.
I scowled in the general direction of his voice before trying to bend the stupid spoon again. I know what you're thinking. Bending a stone spoon? Impossible. Why would they make stone spoons in the first place?
Actually, my dad had made this spoon for the sole purpose of annoying me. The thing was, he could bend it and Nabe could bend it, and I couldn't. And Nabe made fun of me, like he always did. And does.
So that's why I threw it to the ground in frustration, thus probably scarring my sister with terror for life. I never threw anything around her. She was too delicate and I didn't want to scare her. Too late for that now. My little three-year-old sister had just witnessed her first act of violence. From me. Go figure.
'No, I can't do it. Can I go now?'
'Zelf, Nabe said you couldn't go to your lesson unless you bend that spoon.'
'I'm thirteen1'
'We used to play games like that all the time when we were thirteen.'
'You're a Miner!'
'Nabe's not.'
I shot a dark look in his direction and kicked the sofa. My sister was really getting worried now. She started hobbling towards me. Everyone else called it walking, but I called it hobbling, since she looked like a penguin. It used to be waddling, actually.
'Zelf?' she looked up at me. 'You okay?'
I shrugged and nodded. Then I leaned down and saw that I had probably really scared her. So I put her in my lap, took her baby book and started reading to her about baking muffins.
'Zelf!' I heard my mother call. Mommy. I still called her that, I don't know why. What was I supposed to call her? Mother sounded weird. But I never called her Mommy to her face anymore; just in my head.
'Yeah Mom?'
'Stop dwaddling and bend that spoon! You know how Nabe is like about these things.'
I sighed. She was right. But I liked reading to my sister better.
We were at five muffins when Dad sort of stormed into the room and gently took the book out of my hands. Then gave it to Angie, picked her up, and set her on the sofa. Doing this, he took the spoon in one hand, my shirt in the other, and dragged me outside.
'You bend that spoon right now or you go to Nabe's cave and do it.'
I started grumbling. 'Sheesh. It's just a spoon, Dad.'
He scowled at me.
I sighed. I was used to that look. Nabe's my trainer. He does pointless things like throw pine cones (gradually leading to rocks) at me and beat me up every year at precisely 1:30 on May 31. He says it's for my well-being.
I've got to explain Nabe a bit. He's a mix, like me. He's also the best fighter in all of Endora and possibly of the whole Earth. I don't know about Air, Fire, Water or your world, but definetly in our Earth.
He's really tough. He insults me all the time. He calls me a wimp, and tells me that I'm scrawny. He says that I'm a sorry excuse for a man. He swears, and taught me some of his choice words. He wanders around shirtless. I sort of picked that up from him too. Mommy says it's not proper, but Nabe says that it enables smoother movement.
I love him as if he were my dad. He's awesome.
Dad introduced him to me when I was six. I was hiding behind him. Nabe scared the crap out of me. He's very intimidating.
But he was very nice to me, if a little harsh, if that makes any sense. He tried not to swear too much when I was younger, but sort of let it out when I turned eleven. My dad's goal and his goal: to make me a five star, first class fighter, the best in Endora. And Earth. In summary, better that Nabe himself.
Now comes the topic of May 31. It started when I was ten. Nabe said that he wanted to test me. Basically, every year, he takes out his full skill on me. I usually pass out in under three seconds.
Of course, this year, I counted to five. Yay!
I think he uses May 31 as an excuse to take out all his anger on me and all the things I've done wrong. Oh well. Wouldn't make much of a difference anyway.
Nabe lives in a cave around a mile and a half away. At first I used to go with my dad, but now I hike there by myself. I have animal friends there. Foxes, rabbits, and deer, for now.
I'm comfortable around Nabe. He's one of my best friends. Of course he scares me, but still.
So, back to the spoon.
'I'll go.'
My dad stopped his lecture. 'What?'
'I'll go,' I said a little louder.
He blinked. 'Um. . . okay. Nabe's going to be expecting that spoon to be bent though, do you understand?'
'Yeah.'
He nodded. 'Alright then. Run along.'
I smiled and ran along, ditching my sweater and throwing it back at my dad along the way. I heard him yell something at me. I rolled my eyes. I had a shirt underneath. Sleeveless, but a shirt nevertheless.
Someone grabbed my arm. I stopped and looked curiously at the grabber, who was my dad.
'Dad?'
'Shh,' he said. 'Someone's coming.'
I shrugged. 'So?'
He shook his head at me and thrust the sweater back into my arms. 'Put this on, quick!' he said urgently.
I looked at him strangely. Normally I would have disobeyed, but this time, there was something in his voice that made me listen.
I heard hoof beats. I straightened up.
I saw a carriage come into view. A royal carriage. I stiffened. My last encounter with royals hadn't gone that well.
The carriage came up and in it. . . Lo and behold: the royal family.
The princeling was blonde, with wide dark brown eyes. They focused on me slowly.
'Grear,' the King began. He looked out of breath, even though he was riding in a carriage.
'Look,' he said. 'I'll just get straight to the point. My wife and I have to go for the day. We want a playmate for Robin. I don't trust all the nannies. We heard that you had a daughter who was around his age. Please. . .' he stopped to take a breath. 'Can you take care of Robin for the day?'
We stared at him. I don't think either of us had heard at King speak so quickly and informally. Well, that just goes to prove that there's a first time for everything.
My dad looked at me. I shrugged. He had to go to the mines. Mommy would have her hands full with Angie. I had to go to training. Actually, I wouldn't mind missing. . .
'Sure, Your Highness!' I said with a smile and a bow. My dad looked at me incredulously. 'You'll just have to inform Nabe that I won't be coming today, Dad.'
He shook his head as he saw my awfully well thought-out scheme. I grinned hugely.
To my surprise, it was the prince who grinned back. He jumped out of the carriage and ran to me.
'Hi,' he said to me. He started hugging my leg.
I guess we were all surprised. My father blinked. 'Well. . . we kind of have a tight schedule today. . . but. . .'
'I'm sorry, Grear,' the Queen said, looking at her son. 'Robin will never leave until he gets to stay with Zelf for at least an hour now.'
Robin looked up at my dad and stopped grinning. He hid behind my legs.
Dad looked from me to the prince to the King to the Queen.
He finally gave in, after a lot of thought.
'Alright,' he said, a bit hesitantly. 'I'll talk to Nabe. He won't be happy about this,' he warned me.
I shrugged, trying to look helpless. 'What can I do?'
He frowned at me. Perhaps my helpless act could be ignored due to the fact that I still was grinning widely. I didn't have to bend the stupid piece of rock. I wouldn't get a black eye today or be constantly pelted by pine cones.
And so my day-care routine began.
I went home with Robin holding my hand tightly. I think he was scared of Dad. Dad left us at our house, however. He had to go to Nabe to tell him I wouldn't be coming, and then to the mines.
Angie rushed to me as soon as I stepped in the door.
'Zelf's back!' she called to Mommy. Angie is the only little kid, and I repeat: The One and Only little kid to pronounce my name properly. 'Zef' is what I'm usually called by the kids I tutor. I tutor some kids, sort of teaching them how to fight. But that's another story.
Angie pushed a very confused Robin aside and hugged my legs. Mommy looked in, confused as well. I grinned. 'King wanted me to babysit,' I explained.
To my surprise, Mommy only rolled her eyes and smiled. 'I knew you'd somehow find a way to get out of it,' she accused. I smiled back.
Robin was still hiding behind me, now scared of Angie.
'How old is he?' she asked me.
I frowned. Did she not remember? 'Three,' I said.
'The same age as Angie. They'll play together,' she said contentedly. Then she leaned down to Robin's level.
'What's your name, Sweetie?' she asked him.
He pulled my leg. Literally. 'Wobin,' he said in a small voice. Wow. Kid couldn't even pronounce his own name properly.
'We're glad to have you here, Robin,' Mommy said. 'This is Angie,' she pointed at Angie. 'And this is Zelf.' She pointed at me.
He nodded and squeezed my hand. 'Zef.'
Damn.
Mommy almost laughed at my barely concealed annoyance. Beuh.
Angie was eager to get to know her friend. She tugged him out from behind me and showed him her book. She wanted me to settle down and read for them.
By the time Dad came home, Robin and Angie were best friends. Robin was shy at first, but once you got to know him, he was a really sweet kid. Of course, he was only four. I was 9yrs 11mths and 18 days older than him. Round that up to 10 years. They could still easily scheme against me and become all lovey-dovey when they got older. Eew.
Turns out I had to babysit Robin for the rest of my life, then. Or at least until October of the next year. But that's another story, and a rather dark one at that. That was the day my whole life turned upside-down, inside-out, and trampled under a herd of stampeding camels.