Of Sundials and Compasses
'Actually, Zelf, it's not entirely possible. Not necessarily impossible. Which means that it is completely possible, just a portion of it will remain… unobtainable. Which means that—'
'Oh for heaven's sake! I don't care what it means. I just want the freaking sundial.' Zelf stared at the mess of cardboard and paper on his lap, perplexed.
Robin pointed. 'See, you calculated those angles all wrong.'
'I did them perfectly right.'
'You did not. You used a compass.'
'It had a ruler on it shaped like a half-circle. Isn't that supposed to help you make angles?'
'First of all, it is calculate angles, not make them. Second, no.'
'But—'
'No buts.' Robin held up his hand and stuck his chin up.
Zelf scowled. 'Fine. You make the stupid sundial.' He threw it on the ground and walked away.
Robin waited till he was gone before kicking the cardboard away, taking a stick, and drawing a circle in the dirt. Doing this, he stuck the stick in the middle of the circle. He squinted up at the sun.
'Never… eat… so… ZELF!' He yelled the last word.
Zelf reappeared behind a tree. He had a nasty habit of doing stuff like that and scaring the living daylights out of anyone who happened to be passing by.
'What?'
'I got you a sundial.'
Zelf peered at the stick.
'That's a stick.'
'It tells the time. Isn't that what sundials are supposed to do?'
'That's why I have a watch.'
'You had a watch?'
'Yes I have a watch. It's… two-thirty, see. So?'
'If you had a watch, why did you need a sundial?'
'Um…' Zelf looked confused. 'To, like, locate metal? You know, needle points north…'
'That's a compass!'
'I know. But I can't make a compass. So I figured that sundials must do the same thing, right?'
Robin sighed. 'Oh, I don't know. Zelf, if you wanted metal, you could have just taken a magnet.'
'But then I wouldn't need your help.'
'Exactly,' Robin emphasized.
'But…'
'Why did you need my help, anyway?'
'Well, you're the smart-ass, so I figured you could help me with a few simple geometric calculations.' Zelf looked proud of himself.
'Geo… oh, never mind. Next time you want help making a "compass", ask Luna.'
'But, my dear Prince,' Zelf said patiently. 'I didn't want a compass. I wanted a sundial.'
Robin gave a cry of exasperation and stalked off. Zelf grinned to himself.
'You forgot your stick!'
'Oh for heaven's sake! I don't care what it means. I just want the freaking sundial.' Zelf stared at the mess of cardboard and paper on his lap, perplexed.
Robin pointed. 'See, you calculated those angles all wrong.'
'I did them perfectly right.'
'You did not. You used a compass.'
'It had a ruler on it shaped like a half-circle. Isn't that supposed to help you make angles?'
'First of all, it is calculate angles, not make them. Second, no.'
'But—'
'No buts.' Robin held up his hand and stuck his chin up.
Zelf scowled. 'Fine. You make the stupid sundial.' He threw it on the ground and walked away.
Robin waited till he was gone before kicking the cardboard away, taking a stick, and drawing a circle in the dirt. Doing this, he stuck the stick in the middle of the circle. He squinted up at the sun.
'Never… eat… so… ZELF!' He yelled the last word.
Zelf reappeared behind a tree. He had a nasty habit of doing stuff like that and scaring the living daylights out of anyone who happened to be passing by.
'What?'
'I got you a sundial.'
Zelf peered at the stick.
'That's a stick.'
'It tells the time. Isn't that what sundials are supposed to do?'
'That's why I have a watch.'
'You had a watch?'
'Yes I have a watch. It's… two-thirty, see. So?'
'If you had a watch, why did you need a sundial?'
'Um…' Zelf looked confused. 'To, like, locate metal? You know, needle points north…'
'That's a compass!'
'I know. But I can't make a compass. So I figured that sundials must do the same thing, right?'
Robin sighed. 'Oh, I don't know. Zelf, if you wanted metal, you could have just taken a magnet.'
'But then I wouldn't need your help.'
'Exactly,' Robin emphasized.
'But…'
'Why did you need my help, anyway?'
'Well, you're the smart-ass, so I figured you could help me with a few simple geometric calculations.' Zelf looked proud of himself.
'Geo… oh, never mind. Next time you want help making a "compass", ask Luna.'
'But, my dear Prince,' Zelf said patiently. 'I didn't want a compass. I wanted a sundial.'
Robin gave a cry of exasperation and stalked off. Zelf grinned to himself.
'You forgot your stick!'